The Struggle With Divorced Parents By: Daphne Baumgartner

A large portion of research you’ll read about taking care of your mental health will say to start healthy habits, such as skincare, working out, and journaling. While I agree that these routines are great for you, and that you should do whatever you can to live a healthier lifestyle–both mentally and physically; I’ve found that there is a big roadblock which, for many teens, can stunt progress in their journeys to achieving a healthy mental state; divorced parents. In my case, I have to switch between my parents’ houses every 2-4 days, plus, they’re 15 miles apart. My mom lives where my life is; a 10 minute drive from school, a quick 15 minute walk to the store, and right next to a beautiful nature trail that allows me to disconnect and get exercise. My dad on the other hand, moved way out to the east, where there are new neighborhoods and housing developments taking place. Let me paint the picture for you: Boring, beige, and no room to walk anywhere except the next neighborhood over. Both are wildly different worlds, and while I’m glad to see each parent regularly, it can be really difficult to keep track of things. I have two wardrobes–which inevitably get mixed and matched between households due to school and other activities–two rooms, two routines, two worlds.

Weightlifting is a hobby I picked up late spring 2022, and I adore working out dearly. Some sources say to keep a consistent schedule of lifting at least 3-5 times a week in order to get and maintain results. That’s great for me when I’m at my mom’s; a quick 5 minute car ride and I’m at the gym. My dad’s place, however, is a different story; with me rarely working out at all. The gym is a 20 minute car ride, so I only go if he wants to come with me (and he's very busy). Lucky for me though, he recognized this issue and bought some equipment for our basement. Although it still limits my routine, it’s definitely progress.

Another thing I picked up last year was a good skincare routine. But, if you’re into skincare at all, you'll know how expensive it can get. You’d also be pretty knowledgeable about how messy skincare can be when traveling. I’ve had many dollars of products spilled in my work bag trying to transport things from one house to another. I’ve had to spend lots of money buying the same product for each house I go to. And with my sister using my stuff it can get extra stressful keeping track of where everything is.

The point I’m trying to get at is that living in two different households all the time humbles you pretty well. I’ve grown an attachment and sense of gratitude for everything I have, and everything I remember to keep with me. Now, I know I’m sounding like a nomadic hunter and gatherer from three-thousand years ago. I’m not trying to promote basing your happiness off of material possessions; but rather I’m attempting to spread awareness of the thought and stress that goes into keeping everything in order when your entire life is spewed over a span of 15 miles.